A couple of weeks ago my departure date was confirmed. I was looking forward to going home and being with family and friends, but I wasn't quite expecting the effect that having a confirmed date would have. I found that as I talked to others about my departure, I started to become more and more aware of things that I was missing, which I wasn't as fully aware of before.
As I have all the clothes I need in Tuvalu already (in fact i am taking some home that I don't need) I started to let people know that if they wanted something brought back and I had space and it was easy, I could bring things back for them. Important things like plunger coffee and chocolate and kids movies were the requests that started to come in.
These conversations triggered my own thinking about what I miss, and while on Skype with my son last Monday the following list came to be....
some of the small things I am looking forward to when I am home:
- hearing birds (the mainly sea birds in Tuvalu don't seem to break into song the same as at home)
- going to the supermarket and having lots of choice and lights and people,
- hearing dogs bark and sirens,
- planes flying overhead every day and not meaning it is Tuesday or Thursday
- brushing my teeth using the tap not the boiled water,
- not boiling the jug in the morning and then pouring it into the re-cycled water bottle at lunch time after it's cooled
- not having flickering lights because the ceiling fan is underneath the light bulb
- not having to turn the air con on in the middle of the night to take the edge off the temperature so I can go back to sleep
- reliable internet that works when I want it and is faster than I can type
- being easily able to talk to those I love and friends
- being cold
- cooking bacon so it is nice and crispy.......
Last night a group of us went to the Filamona for the Wednesday buffet. It was on because we worked out who could come and, as there were more than 10 people, there would be a buffet that night. It wasn't a going away thing or any big fuss, but it was really nice to mark my last night for three weeks amongst the people that I have come to count as friends on the island. What made it even better was that the Kiwis outnumbered the Aussies for a change.
And then finally the day was here. Departure day. A day of last conversations that needed to be had, and saying "see you in 3 weeks". The plane was late and then delayed in departing, but I found that it didn't matter. It would come when it did and leave when it did. I didn't get wound up or anxious by it, particularly the late arrival, which tells me that I am adapting to the Tuvalu approach of 'it will happen when and if it does'.
I made it to Suva and after an hour or so layover, flew into Nadi in the dark and checked in. As we were waiting for the flight out to depart Funafuti, I felt myself getting more and more weary. Not tired, just weary. The weariness has continued through right up until now as I write this post after my first hot water shower in 5 weeks.
I didn't realise until tonight, how emotional it is....
To be leaving the place I have been for the last 5 weeks, the place which now has a familiar pattern to it and where I am someone who is 'there' not just visiting for a week.
To be going back to the place that feels right and safe and familiar; where those I care about and love and who care and love me are, where my friends are; where I can experience again all the little things that I took for granted and didn't notice, but whose absence from Tuvalu speaks loudly to me.
To be going back home. Home. Home
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